How my experiences in 2022 changed who I am today.

Above: Moments from travels in Vietnam in 2022 and highlights in 2023.

A few of you have asked me to write a post on how I felt during the Pandemic, why I took the gap year, and what this year of free play meant to me. My thoughts are hard to express in a pithy or nicely said way, but I’ll make a valiant effort! A lot was going on in 2017-21, for all of us.

Thoughts on past lives.

What made me restless a few years back was a lack of authenticity — an inability to be one’s true self in the rigmarole our social and professional culture. Many of us went through trying times, leading to stress and disaffection. In my case, I was burned out from acting as someone I am not. When you constantly shift your language, filter your feelings, and struggle to be what you think others desire, you get exhausted. And to what end?

So I turned off and opted out of normal life for a year, to recharge and reassess. The good news is I’ve accomplished much of what I wanted, with my once-in-a-lifetime adventures, and connections with loved ones and new friends. I even pivoted to a new, gratifying career in 2023. (I now help improve systems for treating mental health and drug use in Santa Clara County.) And I’m healthy, sheltered, and free of hunger. From a 30-thousand-feet perspective, I’m quite alright.

Looking forward to the future.

But, if you’re reading this, you probably want to know my takeaways from the gap year. Here’s my top 5 —

1. Embrace what brings you joy. Zealously seek and engage the people, activities, and things that spark joy in your life. Some of the simplest pleasures are the most fulfilling — like finding out that scarlet pie is now your favorite. Or looking friends in the eye and exchanging a gentle, knowing smile. Or bathing in the warm of the Sun, as it shimmers off water.
2. Avoid what’s not joyful. You have a right to your emotional health. Period. Too often we go along and repeat unpleasant experiences for the sake of it, or to conform to an in-group. If something’s not your jam, or no longer holding your interest, there’s no shame in dropping it. Choose real life relationships over the toxic swirl of social media. Greedily aim for minimalism — discarding your gadgets and junk that collect dust in your home.
3. Appreciate every moment for what it is. Be mindful of the present, and avoid obsessing about tomorrow’s to-dos or yesterday’s highs and lows. Feel the ground beneath your feet. Be aware of what you ate last night. Celebrate each small triumph. Cherish mistakes and learn from them, remembering that no single moment defines who you are.
4. Join the Critical Minority. I can no longer identify as a progressive/liberal. I think for myself, putting aside what one echo chamber or another deems correct. I can no longer support an ideology that’s simultaneously ineffectual and authoritarian, that ignores its own elitist biases and cancels anyone who dissents. I join a critical minority that cares more about achieving results than mastering chic nouns and verbs, or proving one’s self-righteousness.
5. Build community. America suffers from a loneliness epidemic, and I think much of it stems from a broader void within our communities. We too often think of community individualistically, as family, lovers, and friends. But community should go beyond that — it’s supposed to be sown into the fabric of our neighborhoods, public places, and extended family. Yet we work alone and stare at screens, while homeless crowd on streets and cars get smashed. We need to do better in caring for our neighbors and surroundings.

And with that call to action, I’ll end in thanking you for following my journey over these last many months. I’ll still occasionally post on life’s twists and turns. You may enjoy my next post, in which I’ll talk about the books I read in 2023. Until then, take care of yourselves and each other.